The story usually goes something like this…
You meet someone you feel an instant connection with. Then, you get attached, VERY attached. Finally, you get so entangled with each other that all you want to do is run for your life!
While many spiritual teachers, experts, and gurus would like us to believe that getting attached or entangled with someone is ‘not good for you’, I totally disagree.
You see, just like our physical heart is connected to all major organs, attached to the pericardium and entangled in an intricate web of veins, arteries and nerves, we too are hardwired to connect, attach and get entangled with each other.
And the reason is quite simple:
Because that’s precisely how we relate, grow, and heal.
The way I see it…
Connections represent the coming together with another so that we can experience each other through the process of giving and receiving. This is what allows us to know ourselves and others better.
Attachments are connections that over time become solidified, joined or deeply ingrained so that we can not only continue to know each other but experience the love, nurturing and support of another and grow together.
Entanglements are attachments that become highly complicated when we discover that we’re part of an intricate web, network, or system of unconscious beliefs, emotional wounds and karmic patterns that, once made conscious, can help us heal.
The problem is never in being connected, attached, or entangled to another person. We are hard-wired for all three.
Without connections, you could not experience yourself or others.
Without attachments, a child would not survive. Without that attachment to your mother, father, son, daughter, husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, sister, brother, close friends and some of the people you work with, you would not be able to receive the love, nurturing and support you need in order to live a healthy life.
Without entanglements, you would not become aware of those intricate aspects of yourself that make up your whole being.
The problem arises when we lose ourselves along the way and can no longer tell where we end and the other person begins.
When you mistake other people’s feelings for your own.
When you become depended on other people’s thoughts, feelings, or opinions about you.
When you build your life around another person’s life or become the center of theirs.
When you become so obsessed with another person, that you lose the connection with yourself, your values, and what matters most to you.
When you put your life and dreams on hold waiting for another person to change, heal, or behave the way you want them to.
Basically, the problem begins when you forget who you really are, and make another person or something outside of yourself the source of your happiness, love, and well-being. When you forget that the true source of happiness, love, and well-being lives first and mostly inside of you.
Inside your own heart.
So you meet someone you feel an instant connection with. Then, you get attached, VERY attached. Finally, you get so entangled with each other that all you want to do is run for your life…
… the life that awaits you when you finally have the courage to look inside your broken-open heart and discover that’s the only place where love, happiness, and well-being truly live.
That’s when you remember who you really are. Only to forget it over and over again, so that you can begin new cycles of relating, growing and healing.
And thus the circle of life… and your Heart as the Path.
Feel free to leave your comments below.
Photo by Jon Ottosson