To be human is to risk being hurt. Growing up in an imperfect and somewhat dysfunctional family, even though I loved my parents and siblings and knew they loved me, I didn’t feel safe emotionally around them.
Anger and harsh words frequently and suddenly erupted over things that should have been inconsequential as the accidental closing of a door. Repeatedly, I would find myself walking on eggshells never really knowing when I or someone else in my family might be lashed out at or blamed for something.
Since very early, I learned to deal with uncomfortable situations such as these. Sometimes I fought back, others I retreated, and more often than I’d like to admit, I hid. Somehow, at both a conscious and unconscious level, I knew I had to protect my heart. And so I build a protective wall around it. In the book ‘The Emotion Code’, Dr. Bradley Nelson refers to this phenomenon as the “Heart-Wall”.
According to Dr. Nelson, “the heart is the emotional and spiritual core of our being and when this core is repeatedly attacked or injured, your subconscious mind will form a kind of “energy wall” to protect your heart against further heartache, heartbreak or against further assault”. This wall can be experienced as a pressure or even pain around your heart caused by the accumulation of trapped emotions that were never allowed to be felt.
Having a ‘Heart-wall’ can affect you primarily in two ways:
First, it blocks your heart’s energy from flowing throughout the rest of your body, making it more difficult for your body to heal itself, and causing physical symptoms such as pain, primarily in the neck, upper back, and shoulders, which can lead to heart disease, heart attacks, and blood pressure problems.
Second, it blocks you from fully opening your hearts to others, making it harder to give and receive love freely. This can lead to depression, abuse, broken relationships, feeling numb, isolated, and disconnected from others.
If you’re struggling to connect with others in deeper and more meaningful ways, then making the conscious decision to start dissolving this protective energy wall around your heart is the first step.
How do you do this? How do you turn this wall into a door that will lead you towards deeper, more intimate relationships?
Here are 5 proven ways you can do this.
Feel free to leave your comments below.
From my heart to yours.
Heart Intelligence Coach
Photo by Rahul Anil