Previously, I shared with you the Reasons Why You’re Still Single. In this weeks’ article I’d like to share with you a very quick way to find out just how ready you REALLY are for a committed relationship.
How to know if you are ready for a relationship
The idea came to me after completing this ‘Relationship Readiness Quiz’ published by the Relationship Coaching Institute. According to its author, Dr. David Steele, it is a very accurate tool to help singles assess if they are ready for a relationship in 10 important areas.
Before we proceed, let me first warn you that even though this is a powerful and accurate assessment, the ultimate truth is that you never really know you’re ready for a committed relationship until you’re actually in one. That’s just the way life works.
For example, I didn’t know I was ready to start acting in soap operas until I was actually acting in a soap opera. Similarly, I didn’t know I was ready to start coaching, until I was already coaching. When you are ready baby, you are READY. Period. Most people don’t know they are ready until they are actually ready.
So if you’ve been waiting until you’re ready to do something, my suggestion that you stop trying to get ready, and you start taking the necessary steps towards whatever it is you really want, be it a committed relationship, a new career, or a new slimmer you! Keep doing the work, and keep on being the most amazing you that you can possibly be!
This said, are you now ready to take the assessment and find out if you’re REALLY ready for a relationship?
Let’s get started.
The Relationship Ready Test
Repeat out loud each one of the following ten statements and then rate each statement on a scale from 0 to 10 where:
8-10: Good; this area of my life is strong and would be an asset to my next relationship
5-7: OK; this area needs work, but most likely would not sabotage my next relationship
0-4: Needs Work; this area could interfere with the success of my next relationship
Do your best to be objective and honest with yourself. I even recommend you ask your family or close friends for their honest opinions as well. They might be able to tell you something about you that you’re not aware of. Be willing to listen, specially if it brings ‘stuff’ up for you. Remember what Dr. Pat Allen says, ‘the truth will set you free, but it will first piss you off!’
The 10 Statements
1. I know what I want. I have a clear vision for my life and relationship. I can envision my perfect life in rich detail that feels strong, very real, and keeps me motivated.
2. I know my requirements. I have a written list of at least ten non-negotiable requirements that I use for screening potential partners. I am clear that if any are missing, a relationship will not work for me.
3. I am happy and successful being single. I enjoy my life, my work, my family, my friends, and my own company. I am living the life that I want, and I am not seeking a relationship out of desperation and need.
4. I am ready and available for commitment. I have no emotional or legal baggage from a previous relationship. My schedule, commitments and lifestyle allow my availability to build a new relationship.
5. I am satisfied with my work/career. My work is fulfilling, supports my lifestyle, and does not interfere with my availability for a new relationship.
6. I am healthy in mind, body, and spirit. My physical, mental, or emotional health does not interfere with having the life and relationship that I want. I am reasonably happy and feel good.
7. My financial and legal business is handled. I have no financial or legal issues that would interfere with having the life and relationship that I want.
8. My family relationships are functional. My relationships with my children, ex, siblings, parents, and extended family do not interfere with having the life and relationship that I want.
9. I have effective dating skills. I initiate contact with people I want to meet, and disengage from people who are not a match for me. I keep my physical and emotional boundaries, and balance my heart with my head with potential partners.
10. I have effective relationship skills. I understand relationships, can maintain closeness and intimacy, communicate authentically and assertively, negotiate difference positively, allow myself to trust and be vulnerable, and can give and receive love without emotional barriers.
Add all your scores together, and then use the following results to find out how ready for a relationship you truly are:
80-100: Green light. Congratulations! You are well on your way to the life and relationship you really want!
50-79: Orange light. Continue to work on the areas needed and take it slow in relationships while doing so.
0-49: RED LIGHT. Take a break from seeking a partner, focus on your life and prepare for the relationship that you want. Consider enlisting the help of a coach, a therapist, a friend or an accountability buddy to help keep you focused on your new direction.
If you enjoyed this test and you’re ready to let the Universe know you’re ready to manifest your soulmate, click here to discover four things you can do next.
Feel free to leave your comments below.