If you feel your relationships have been feeling a little ‘beige’ lately, this video I made recently will help you figure out why! In it, I share 4 dimensions of connecting with others, and why they are so important for anyone who wants to live more fully from their heart. I hope you enjoy it, learn something, and laugh a little. I certainly did. Enjoy!
About three years ago, just before I became a Heart Intelligence Coach, I woke one one day and I said to myself, I’m tired of this relationship shit. (By the way, to me SHIT stands for ‘Spiritually Harmonizing Intelligent Truth) I had been in a relationship with a man who was not emotionally available, and the more I tried to connect with him, the farther I pushed him away. So in my pain, I decided to jump ship, take a break from romantic relationships so that I could take a really good look at myself
I wanted to discover once and for all, why was I attracting unavailable men. So, I read everything I could about how to manifest love, how to attract your soulmate, and create the relationship of your dreams. Went to every website, purchased all these courses. And at the end of that year of intense research – which is, by the way when I created my Manifest Love Course – I finally figured out the reason why I was attracting unavailable men into my life.
Want to know the answer? Simply, because I myself, was not being available to ME.
I was not being available to what I now understand as the 4 dimensions of human connection.
The Four Dimensions of Human Connection
Human relationships have 4 primary dimensions for connecting: body, mind, heart, and spirit.
Body connections include anything physical, such as touch, cuddling, hugging, kissing, and sex.
Mind connections include communicating and sharing ideas; this is the mental, or philosophical aspect of a connection.
Heart connections include the sharing of emotions, including developing feelings for the other person, a sense of intimacy a nd falling in love.
Spirit connections include helping each other grow, and a sense that we’re together for a greater purpose, or to share a spiritual journey.
Think about your current relationships, and you’ll realize that each relationship in your life involves some or all of these dimensions.
For instance, with a romantic partner you may enjoy a wonderful heart-body connection. With a growth-oriented friend, you could enjoy an inspiring mind-spirit connection and exploring the meaning of life.
So let me ask you, right now, your life, where are you in each one of these four areas? How satisfied are you? What kind of connection type would you like more of?
When I asked myself this very same question, I realized that most of my relationships, were at the BODY and MIND demensions. I had become very good at this kind of relationships. But what I really wanted, what my heart was longing for, was HEART and SPIRIT type of connections. I was longing for that emotional closeness, the feelings of connection, and vulnerability. It was during this time that I started learning the skills and practices that eventually helped me access my own heart and emotions, and inspired me to become a Heart Intelligence Coach so that I could help others do the same.
The 4 Levels of Sexual Experience
When we interact with another person sexually, these 4 dimensions continue to play out, but this time as levels or stages in which we develop…
At the level of the Body, which is the physical level, SEX all about survival, and pro-creation. Sex is something you want or crave. And wanting is all about giving and receiving. That’s why you hear teenagers say, ‘Did you get some last night?’
When you move to the next level of the mind, which looks a life linearly, SEX becomes something you DO. At this level, because it’s all about DOING, which is really all about performance, some of us suffer from performance anxiety, impotence, frigidity.
The next level, is the level of the heart. At this level you open up to the energy of love, joy, and compassion. There’s nothing to get, nothing to give, there’s nothing to do. You forget about performing and you move into simply being. Sex becomes a WAY in which you ARE with another person. A way in which you know, feel and experience each other’s energy.
And at the Spirit Level, there’s a sense of knowing, that just belong together, that we’re here for something much greater, and to support each other’s journey. And with it, you experience a higher form of bliss…. Or what I would call Divine Love, with my sexual partner, and through my sexual partner.
I know this may all sound very complicated, but really isn’t. What I believe is ultimately most important is that you take some time out, just you alone with yourself, to ask yourself a very simple and POWERFUL QUESTIONS:
WHAT IS MY HEART LONGING FOR?
What type of human connections?
What level of sexual intimacy?
Then LISTEN. And listen with your whole body, mind, heart and spirit. Then take action. Love yourself so much, to Have that conversation with your partner. Or if you’re single, with yourself. Answering this question for yourself, could be the tiniest baby step, that you could take, to transform your relationships, and your sexuality.
Have an awesome week ahead! And, do let me know if there’s anything I can do to support you.
PS. If you want to hear more about this type of stuff, in my upcoming online course, The Path to Soulmate Love I will teach you how to attract and create a romantic relationship the heart-centered way. To learn more, click here.