We all say it. Sometimes we feel it, sometimes we don’t. Yet, many of us don’t really understand what ‘I love you’ really means.
In a time when love abounds and people are rolling around and wanting more and more of it, I’d like to ask you:
Are you sure you really want the experience of loving someone and being loved in return?
I ask you because what most of us call ‘love’, more often than not, is not real, true love.
It may look, feel, or act like it, yet it is far from the love your heart craves the most. For love is not neediness, desire, like, infatuation, obsession or lust.
Of all the Western Languages, English is by far the poorest when it comes to describing what is the richest, most profound, multi-dimensional force that drives our human lives. In Sanskrit, there are 96 words used to describe different kinds of love. Ancient Persian has 80, Greek has three, yet English only has one.
“I love you, and you love me.”
“I love my friend a lot and would do anything for him.”
“I love my life, nature, and God.”.
These are all different expressions of love. Yet most of us miss out on the fundamental fact that each time you say ‘I love you’, you start with ‘I’.
So, what if ‘I love you’ really means, “I love me when I’m with you.” Or, “I love how I feel when I’m with you.”
Wouldn’t that make love an inside job?
And if it is truly an inside job, what if it was also a choice? A choice as in, “I love you because I choose to love you”, or “because I want to love you”, or as Pablo Neruda would say, “because I know no other way.”
And, if love is a choice, what if today – regardless of your current relationship status and beyond any stories in your mind about why you deserve love or not – you choose to love yourself anyway?
What if today you choose to accept yourself as you are and where you are and stop seeing yourself as imperfect, broken or wrong?
What if today you choose to face the mirror and say to yourself, “I love you, I care about you, and I will do my best to keep loving you throughout the day”?
What if today you could choose to open to the possibility that the greatest love there is is the one you feel when you fully connect to the essential part of you that lives deep within your heart?
And, that each time you share this love with others, the only reason it comes back to you is that it is you who feels it first.
Wishing you a wonderful, inspiring and love-filled St. Valentines day!
From my heart to yours.
Photo by Fabrizio Verrecchia