Why do relationships end?
When I ask clients and potential customers this same question, I get a mixed bag of responses.
By far the most frequent answer is that they feel disconnected from the other person. Conventional wisdom would tell us that the more time we spend with someone and the more we get to know them, the greater the feelings of connection. But time and knowledge about the other person are not what creates connection. Being vulnerable and real with them is the only thing that will accomplish that.
The second most common answer is that they feel the other person is not really there for them. It’s as if they don’t feel truly seen, heard and validated by the other person. As if, “they are there, but they’re not really THERE.” In a world filled with so many distractions, being fully present for another person represents its own unique set of challenges. But when you are truly present and available for another, your presence alone can help them feel loved and bring about much-needed healing.
Another reason commonly offered is they want two completely different things. And while it’s human to be different and to want different things in life, for a relationship to last there needs to be a clear, specific and commonly shared vision of what it is both partners want by being in a relationship with the other.
Three Ingredients of Wholehearted Relationships
If you want your relationships to be wholehearted as well as deeply fulfilling, joyful and loving, you need to have the following three ingredients:
- Clarity about what it is you want by being in a relationship with the other person.
Commitment to being fully present for yours and the other person’s core needs, wants and desires.
Courage to express your truth from a real, vulnerable, heart-centered space.
Being clear, present and real in your relationship with others will not only ensure your relationship last but it will also remind you of the important reason why you both came together.
From my heart to yours.
Photo by Luke Ellis-Craven