Why Relationships End

Why do relationships end?

When I ask clients and potential customers this same question, I get a mixed bag of responses.

By far the most frequent answer is that they feel disconnected from the other person. Conventional wisdom would tell us that the more time we spend with someone and the more we get to know them, the greater the feelings of connection. But time and knowledge about the other person are not what creates connection. Being vulnerable and real with them is the only thing that will accomplish that.

The second most common answer is that they feel the other person is not really there for them. It’s as if they don’t feel truly seen, heard and validated by the other person. As if, “they are there, but they’re not really THERE.” In a world filled with so many distractions, being fully present for another person represents its own unique set of challenges. But when you are truly present and available for another, your presence alone can help them feel loved and bring about much-needed healing.

Another reason commonly offered is they want two completely different things. And while it’s human to be different and to want different things in life, for a relationship to last there needs to be a clear, specific and commonly shared vision of what it is both partners want by being in a relationship with the other.

Three Ingredients of Wholehearted Relationships

If you want your relationships to be wholehearted as well as deeply fulfilling, joyful and loving, you need to have the following three ingredients:

Clarity about what it is you want by being in a relationship with the other person.
Commitment to being fully present for yours and the other person’s core needs, wants and desires.
Courage to express your truth from a real, vulnerable, heart-centered space.

Being clear, present and real in your relationship with others will not only ensure your relationship last but it will also remind you of the important reason why you both came together.

From my heart to yours.

Photo by Luke Ellis-Craven

uriel light says

29 March, 2018 at 12:22 am

Namaste:
As human beings we are born with the need to belong, TO be able feel love and be grounded in this plane. It’s this thirst to belong which sparks within us and we remember the true nature of how love is and how it feels within our very essence of our heart, which is something more substantial than us. Since the true nature of our soul is spiritual, we can say love is spiritual too .

I feel the question to ask is not Why Relationships End, but Why Did They Not Begin. Feeling frustrated and disconnected from the person, who you think you love in relationships, friendships, etc, of course.!! How can we connect when we don’t love ourselves and have an open heart to connect to them from our heart. It’s all about giving and receiving in balance. Not about one sided…Giveme..Giveme…I want you to do this…I need this from you. Constant demands that drive you crazy and overwhelmed. It is a constant exchange of being your authentic self, fulfilling what you truly desire and not a relationship of co dependency. That is the key that we definitely need to understand, and opens the door to true love. Receiving doesn’t necessarily have to be from only one person. That person doesn’t have to do all, be all, etc. I see in my life when I give to myself, nurture myself, etc and at times, I am given, if I cant fulfill it myself, universe always steps in and sends someone with an open heart for me to receive from. As I freely give, I freely receive. It doesn’t have to be from the person who you give to and expect a return from them. Just constantly giving from your heart, not to receive but to GIVE in gratitude for your many blessings and friendships. There is nothing wrong with romance if it is used appropriately, for it brings a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love in a bonded and committed relationship.. Although when it is inappropriately used, and we tend to have the illusion that the prince charming will come on his white horse and take us away and we will live happily after after that is another story of our fantasy land. Romantic love may need constant bargaining, compromising in attempting to make things work for we are living in the ego and not our heart. It can be a delusion, in the fact that you have to do nothing, but wait for prince charming to fulfill your every whim, scheme, want and need. What a joke, this is but a selfish love and so unrealistic of true love. There is no soul connection in the spiritual and you have to constantly reassure them and tell them that you love them because both feel insecure and feel one will leave. We think romance as per say in the physical will solve all our issues. Good thought to ponder in your heart.

As well, the second most important ingredient in any relationship is communication, vulnerability and honesty, exposing our nakedness in bed and out of bed. Why women don’t feel heard by a man…if you don’t speak your truth, how would they know. It is not a game of charades. Your man wants to be your hero, so give him an opportunity. A man’s desire is to please a women in and out of bed, it lights him up and makes him feel valuable in your relationship and brings pleasure in your connection in enjoying your company and desiring to share his life with you and feeling safe to be with you.. So it time to quit dissuading him and begin to entice him. Also give him his cave time and space, he is not rejecting you. This is a law of the universe of expansion and contraction. He will come out renewed and changed and you don’t even have to force or fight with him. Ha!! Ha!! I have had clients spend time together although feel separated with no connection, they think that will fill the emptiness in their connection, although what I see is that it is about duty and obligation and if the man doesn’t he will be denied sex and continue to get nagged. They derive no pleasure from their so called relationship of emptiness on the inside, so attempting to fill it on the outside is fruitless and useless.. They don’t even sleep together or have sex. How can you have any relationship when you cant even make love and show your affection in intimacy and strengthen your bonds as one. Not that, that is the primary intimacy, it is the icing on the cake, because if you don’t have intimacy outside the bed in communication, vulnerability honesty, how can you enhance deeper intimacy inside the bed. Both innercourse and outercourse are required and beneficial for balance in fellowship, fun and bliss. What amazes me is what I observe and see, is that men and women all have this list of wants and definitely nots and they tend to gravitate to what they don’t want and not go toward and ignore what they want due to desperation in having someone. Feel something is better than nothing. What an illusion and lie when we wake up from this dream state and find our self in a bond with no love..

So why do we blame and project on the other partner, for they are showing us to wake up and be present and open our heart. The mirror before our very eyes. To be there, is to make a commitment of appreciation, honor, value, gratitude, and respect. The man has our back and the women has the man’s heart. If you are there and back him 100%, you will have his heart. Women think it is the man who has to woo, I don’t feel that way, it is your responsibility as a women to nurture him, not mother him, for you are the magnet that draws the electricity of the male to you. True love is accepting them for who they are and living in the present moment with them by our side in understanding and listening to how their heart beats..

As a society with women’s lib, we have so messed up the roles in our relationships by the woman becoming the man in their role at work and control and domination. So when the women does come home, she stays in that role as the man, and tends to relinquish her role as a feminine being. You can’t have two male control freaks. Ha!! Ha!! If the women chooses to work, she needs to tune into her feminine maturity when she returns. If not she will not be seen, heard or acknowledged, but repelled by her very nature she presents to the man. Then she wonders why she is not heard, seen and validated. If I was a man, remembering from my past lives the role I played previously, for this is my first incarnation as a women. I had to learn in this life, because I was born with such masculine tendencies, personality and nature and power, to bring balance to my feminine side. If you put yourself in a man’s shoes and see the torment he goes thru of constantly being nagged, fulfilling expectations, being a puppet on a string, feeling fear we will somehow disappoint them, feeling at any time, we will be rejected and love withdrawn, humiliated, scolded, unappreciated, disrespected, invalidated, frustrated about never being able to please a women no matter what they did, and it was never enough to bring her satisfaction. I can see why women feel ignored, who would want to put up with such harassment. Men just turn women off, as if they were not there and invisible. There is no magnet to draw, just to repel them further and further away. You surely are not there to play your role in being present in your feminine qualities. There is the electric male and the magnetic female. This is the way all of the cosmos and universe operates on those principles. If it is not adhered to, you reap the consequences of your action. You can’t change the principles, can only connect to them to produce flow between male and female in there connection with source. No flow, no connection or bond in polarity.. Connection and flow with an open heart to receive and give allows you to be in sacred sexuality and be in pure love and connect from the soul. When you look into ea other’s eyes you see the very depth of their soul and all there is is LOVE in the heart, waiting for you all this time to receive.

The other significant component is that you both need to let go of co-dependency to be independent to become interdependent to share the mission and purpose from your higher heart. We are here to serve and be Love and Light in action. Both need to yearn for the same heart’s desire to unite as one not be busy wasting time of this is what I WANT..EGO speaking.. That is your interdependence to set the world on fire with love and light, then there are no needs and wants from the ego only what the heart truly desires which is pure and sacred and deep love. Anything else is a counterfeit and will not please you, and not be fulfilling, by just wanting and demanding from one another. The source of your contentment is from the bountiful of your connection with your creator as we all join in the trinity. That is what brings you total connection out of separation, abandonment and rejection. The heart is the connection in the desires of the will of our father and when it is fulfilled than all others things automatically exist simultaneously. As your soul prospers so does your abundance. You have filled yourself with love and light and that is sufficient as a co creator. You both have joined in a heart to heart connection to grow and nurture and support each other. If that is lacking, why be in a relationship? You are there 100% for each other no matter what, loving ea other unconditionally just the way the person is in the present moment and not attempting to change them and make them who you want them to be to fulfill your selfish wants and needs and play God. Always remember why you were drawn to each other in your attraction, is it for the mirror to reflect what needs to be healed or the mirror that reflects such deep pure love that you see in each other.??? We have met someone equal to our soul who fulfills us, their mind and consciousness flows from the very soul as ours reflecting our true soul back to us..They understand us completely in this deep intensified connection that sets us with fierce truth, unconditional love and deep passion and true sacred love. To live in the abundance of pure sacred unconditional love lifts us higher and higher and we make love with our souls in the physical in addition to our heart in sacred sexuality. So be the person who you desire the other person to reflect back who you are and do what you desire to receive. Represent what you feel you desire and hold that truth in your heart and you will draw that frequency and unite in harmony and balance in your polarities, wanting or needing for nothing, for out of the No-Thing is infinite possibilities for you are the, I Am that I Am with everlasting love one to the other for Love is a choice to take the risk. From My Heart To Your Heart In Love and Light, Uriel

Comments

uriel light says

29 March, 2018 at 12:22 am

Namaste:
As human beings we are born with the need to belong, TO be able feel love and be grounded in this plane. It’s this thirst to belong which sparks within us and we remember the true nature of how love is and how it feels within our very essence of our heart, which is something more substantial than us. Since the true nature of our soul is spiritual, we can say love is spiritual too .

I feel the question to ask is not Why Relationships End, but Why Did They Not Begin. Feeling frustrated and disconnected from the person, who you think you love in relationships, friendships, etc, of course.!! How can we connect when we don’t love ourselves and have an open heart to connect to them from our heart. It’s all about giving and receiving in balance. Not about one sided…Giveme..Giveme…I want you to do this…I need this from you. Constant demands that drive you crazy and overwhelmed. It is a constant exchange of being your authentic self, fulfilling what you truly desire and not a relationship of co dependency. That is the key that we definitely need to understand, and opens the door to true love. Receiving doesn’t necessarily have to be from only one person. That person doesn’t have to do all, be all, etc. I see in my life when I give to myself, nurture myself, etc and at times, I am given, if I cant fulfill it myself, universe always steps in and sends someone with an open heart for me to receive from. As I freely give, I freely receive. It doesn’t have to be from the person who you give to and expect a return from them. Just constantly giving from your heart, not to receive but to GIVE in gratitude for your many blessings and friendships. There is nothing wrong with romance if it is used appropriately, for it brings a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love in a bonded and committed relationship.. Although when it is inappropriately used, and we tend to have the illusion that the prince charming will come on his white horse and take us away and we will live happily after after that is another story of our fantasy land. Romantic love may need constant bargaining, compromising in attempting to make things work for we are living in the ego and not our heart. It can be a delusion, in the fact that you have to do nothing, but wait for prince charming to fulfill your every whim, scheme, want and need. What a joke, this is but a selfish love and so unrealistic of true love. There is no soul connection in the spiritual and you have to constantly reassure them and tell them that you love them because both feel insecure and feel one will leave. We think romance as per say in the physical will solve all our issues. Good thought to ponder in your heart.

As well, the second most important ingredient in any relationship is communication, vulnerability and honesty, exposing our nakedness in bed and out of bed. Why women don’t feel heard by a man…if you don’t speak your truth, how would they know. It is not a game of charades. Your man wants to be your hero, so give him an opportunity. A man’s desire is to please a women in and out of bed, it lights him up and makes him feel valuable in your relationship and brings pleasure in your connection in enjoying your company and desiring to share his life with you and feeling safe to be with you.. So it time to quit dissuading him and begin to entice him. Also give him his cave time and space, he is not rejecting you. This is a law of the universe of expansion and contraction. He will come out renewed and changed and you don’t even have to force or fight with him. Ha!! Ha!! I have had clients spend time together although feel separated with no connection, they think that will fill the emptiness in their connection, although what I see is that it is about duty and obligation and if the man doesn’t he will be denied sex and continue to get nagged. They derive no pleasure from their so called relationship of emptiness on the inside, so attempting to fill it on the outside is fruitless and useless.. They don’t even sleep together or have sex. How can you have any relationship when you cant even make love and show your affection in intimacy and strengthen your bonds as one. Not that, that is the primary intimacy, it is the icing on the cake, because if you don’t have intimacy outside the bed in communication, vulnerability honesty, how can you enhance deeper intimacy inside the bed. Both innercourse and outercourse are required and beneficial for balance in fellowship, fun and bliss. What amazes me is what I observe and see, is that men and women all have this list of wants and definitely nots and they tend to gravitate to what they don’t want and not go toward and ignore what they want due to desperation in having someone. Feel something is better than nothing. What an illusion and lie when we wake up from this dream state and find our self in a bond with no love..

So why do we blame and project on the other partner, for they are showing us to wake up and be present and open our heart. The mirror before our very eyes. To be there, is to make a commitment of appreciation, honor, value, gratitude, and respect. The man has our back and the women has the man’s heart. If you are there and back him 100%, you will have his heart. Women think it is the man who has to woo, I don’t feel that way, it is your responsibility as a women to nurture him, not mother him, for you are the magnet that draws the electricity of the male to you. True love is accepting them for who they are and living in the present moment with them by our side in understanding and listening to how their heart beats..

As a society with women’s lib, we have so messed up the roles in our relationships by the woman becoming the man in their role at work and control and domination. So when the women does come home, she stays in that role as the man, and tends to relinquish her role as a feminine being. You can’t have two male control freaks. Ha!! Ha!! If the women chooses to work, she needs to tune into her feminine maturity when she returns. If not she will not be seen, heard or acknowledged, but repelled by her very nature she presents to the man. Then she wonders why she is not heard, seen and validated. If I was a man, remembering from my past lives the role I played previously, for this is my first incarnation as a women. I had to learn in this life, because I was born with such masculine tendencies, personality and nature and power, to bring balance to my feminine side. If you put yourself in a man’s shoes and see the torment he goes thru of constantly being nagged, fulfilling expectations, being a puppet on a string, feeling fear we will somehow disappoint them, feeling at any time, we will be rejected and love withdrawn, humiliated, scolded, unappreciated, disrespected, invalidated, frustrated about never being able to please a women no matter what they did, and it was never enough to bring her satisfaction. I can see why women feel ignored, who would want to put up with such harassment. Men just turn women off, as if they were not there and invisible. There is no magnet to draw, just to repel them further and further away. You surely are not there to play your role in being present in your feminine qualities. There is the electric male and the magnetic female. This is the way all of the cosmos and universe operates on those principles. If it is not adhered to, you reap the consequences of your action. You can’t change the principles, can only connect to them to produce flow between male and female in there connection with source. No flow, no connection or bond in polarity.. Connection and flow with an open heart to receive and give allows you to be in sacred sexuality and be in pure love and connect from the soul. When you look into ea other’s eyes you see the very depth of their soul and all there is is LOVE in the heart, waiting for you all this time to receive.

The other significant component is that you both need to let go of co-dependency to be independent to become interdependent to share the mission and purpose from your higher heart. We are here to serve and be Love and Light in action. Both need to yearn for the same heart’s desire to unite as one not be busy wasting time of this is what I WANT..EGO speaking.. That is your interdependence to set the world on fire with love and light, then there are no needs and wants from the ego only what the heart truly desires which is pure and sacred and deep love. Anything else is a counterfeit and will not please you, and not be fulfilling, by just wanting and demanding from one another. The source of your contentment is from the bountiful of your connection with your creator as we all join in the trinity. That is what brings you total connection out of separation, abandonment and rejection. The heart is the connection in the desires of the will of our father and when it is fulfilled than all others things automatically exist simultaneously. As your soul prospers so does your abundance. You have filled yourself with love and light and that is sufficient as a co creator. You both have joined in a heart to heart connection to grow and nurture and support each other. If that is lacking, why be in a relationship? You are there 100% for each other no matter what, loving ea other unconditionally just the way the person is in the present moment and not attempting to change them and make them who you want them to be to fulfill your selfish wants and needs and play God. Always remember why you were drawn to each other in your attraction, is it for the mirror to reflect what needs to be healed or the mirror that reflects such deep pure love that you see in each other.??? We have met someone equal to our soul who fulfills us, their mind and consciousness flows from the very soul as ours reflecting our true soul back to us..They understand us completely in this deep intensified connection that sets us with fierce truth, unconditional love and deep passion and true sacred love. To live in the abundance of pure sacred unconditional love lifts us higher and higher and we make love with our souls in the physical in addition to our heart in sacred sexuality. So be the person who you desire the other person to reflect back who you are and do what you desire to receive. Represent what you feel you desire and hold that truth in your heart and you will draw that frequency and unite in harmony and balance in your polarities, wanting or needing for nothing, for out of the No-Thing is infinite possibilities for you are the, I Am that I Am with everlasting love one to the other for Love is a choice to take the risk. From My Heart To Your Heart In Love and Light, Uriel

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